!(:

2012-02-14T18:41:00.001+08:00

actually, i've done so much thinking that..

i honestly do not know what my take on life is anymore.

2012-01-28T00:36:00.001+08:00

i'll just observe life.

like i usually do by the sidelines.

2012-01-28T00:08:00.003+08:00

this is the place i rant without caring what others think because i know no one reads this.

don't blame me if i don't trust you when you say 'being fat isn't that bad' because guess what?

you're freakin skinny.

and don't act like you don't stare at us fat people and feel grossed out.

i know this is such a bitchy thing to do but whatever.

i just want to stop being fat.

it's the worst thing in my life.

the only thing keeping me from being happy.

and i've been stuck in this dark place for 4 years.

i'd rather not exist than be fat.

but it's too late.

i've come to the point where i even admire the anorexics.

i hate myself.

i hate everything.

i hate this world.

at least i made sure i didn't swear in this post.

2012-01-08T23:00:00.004+08:00

getting back Os results tomorrow.

i still wonder what true faith is.

i'm not sad,

but i just want to be truly happy

you know like have a reason or even no reason to just be joyful

and crazy.

things in this world that seem like the best can really be the worst,

so silly yearning for things that don't matter in the end,

but only to the foolish eyes.

so i see.

but i am not enlightened.

there are so many things to think about.

i am tired,

but sleep doesn't help much anymore.

what is this feeling called?

2012-01-02T01:14:00.002+08:00

God you are my hope in this world that often proves hopeless to me.

2012-01-01T23:29:00.002+08:00

seek first His kingdom....

God first. always.

2011-12-02T23:10:00.001+08:00

You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost it's sting

Oh, I'm running to your arms,
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

2011-11-07T04:52:00.001+08:00

why do i want so much, what i shouldn't yearn so badly for.

2011-11-07T04:45:00.000+08:00

really wish

truly hope

i need to be

I know I shouldn't talk like this but to be honest I am hell irritated now. Fuck. I need to get out of here. Away from these people. I need new and ch

2011-08-13T18:44:00.000+08:00

2011-07-19T19:04:00.001+08:00

2011-07-19T18:30:00.001+08:00

2011-06-06T02:40:00.002+08:00

can i just say i respect people who put in proper effort for proper reasons with proper character ALOT. A WHOLE LOT.

athletes, dancers, students, authorities, musicians, chefs, doctors, nurses, artists, architects, even construction workers and domestic helpers.

i think some deserve loads of respect,

and i'd gladly show it.

2011-04-18T21:52:00.001+08:00

the fact that i am always not knowing anything feels so bad yet i know for a fact that uncertainty isn't bad.

the constant paradoxical feelings i get almost everyday makes decisions so tough they no longer feel like options and makes me think so hard i lose my head.

2011-04-18T20:41:00.001+08:00

faith, hope, trust.

it's weird i'm wondering now after so many years.

suddenly it's all a little patch blur.

small patch, big impact.

i'm always wondering if things are wrong or right, what if there's no such thing as a wrong or right in certain circumstances?

This may be a dilemma..intrapersonal conflict between choices that are shifting from wrong to right to right to wrong, when maybe, there’s no right or wrong. So am I just being an idiot? Cos that’s the last thing I wanna – but even “idiot” has a conflict in mind over it’s definition. Like how I thought being an optimist = idiot. But now I don’t know, sometimes I still think it is, ultimately, I REALLY DON’T KNOW.

2011-04-18T00:37:00.002+08:00

well, i am.

2011-04-16T22:33:00.002+08:00

to be positive took me much arduous struggle.

but is there really such a thing as indomitable spirit?

because as far, as much as i know and see, everyone falls.

everyone loses themselves from time to time, and you can never guarantee that one really has an indomitable spirit, because this is what happens: circumstances change, things come and go, life happens. i'm pretty sure i'm gonna do more stuff than this, just, when?

2011-03-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

http://www.southbeachdiet.com/sbd/publicsite/how-it-works/how-it-works.aspx

south beach diet seems good.

seems realistic and very plausible,

and smart.

i embark on my journey.. :) :) :) :)

2011-02-26T22:42:00.001+08:00

feelings accompanied by thoughts that amazes me with such thoughts and concepts as a result of thinking.

which maybe in the first place..

did i really even do.

2011-02-21T22:46:00.001+08:00

80's -90's music = BEST

2011-02-18T22:35:00.002+08:00

what a strange

`thought

`feeling

`thing.

2011-01-30T23:03:00.004+08:00

the pain in doing the same painless routines over and over again.

Being coerced into making some decision isn't a choice.

i must be mentally sane to know i'm not becoming one, so am i really more sane or insane?

a world defined by hierarchy only makes the world speed faster(rates).

status, competition. not good or bad? just how? we all compete..

...interest mixed with value and some structural, relationship maybe data conflicts??

Man Vs. Man

Man Vs. Nature

Man Vs. Self

Man Vs. Society

Man Vs. Destiny/Fate

"When fight begins within himself, a man's worth something." - Sir Frederick Browning

"The greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." - Miguel De Cervantes

"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others." - Sidney J. Harris

"A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most. On Other Peoples Expectations: The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." - George Bernard Shaw

you want,

but you can't,

but you really can,

but you don't want to

because you can't although you really wish you could,

YOU WANT,

but you just can't,

not that you really cannot,

it's just not the way you want?

you want it,

but it's just SO HARD.

you need more than you can do as well,

but there's more you can do but you can never reach the limit..?

>>>>>>>>>>>> you know what i mean?

oh the irony in life and of life.

what exactly should life be?

yet some irony would not exist without the cause and effect of something you realised was ironic.

in confusion, i just wish to think simple when i'm done..

2011-01-26T20:11:00.004+08:00

why do i need someone to tell me when the world echoes it to me each day.

everyone is moving and improving except for me.

just thought i could go slower and not rush my life.

am i supposed to be moving as fast a pace as others?

isn't life not about this? yet everyone good tells me the same but is doing another.

i can't understand or define this.

i don't know what the right and wrong is here.

right is usually clearly different from the wrong.

but what is this?

what should i do..because i always seem to be doing the wrong, even if it's the right.

what??

how do i make things how i wish it could be.

why do i have to try so hard to be able to understand things people can understand without much thought.

i know the pain, but they show the pain, as if it would help them.

why not they just mention it less and focus more?

more on the things that would make the pain worthwhile.

how can i concentrate when everything needs to be focused on.

i would forget about my life.

i would forget what i'm doing all these for,

i would forget what the main goal is,

i would lose myself in the process of making someone myself.

what for?

what??

what?

am i doing.

what.

too many things.

too little time.

that's not true but proven with mistakes yes it is.

proven with the lost of a real life with open-mindedness and peace,

and just focusing on what life should be and is.

but now it's only flooded with useless useful things of what?

everything. but what is the root cause?

what is it that is giving the 'what's the discomfort in asking them.

why is pretty useless.

what???

- i say i do not know. i do. i just can't help but wonder what if, and why, and how. because only being human, i expect to do things for a reason, i need to have an intended outcome, i need to be assured and have planned, to expect something.

But somethings, i guess. maybe, they just don't need/require or have a reason.

today maybe i really am unsure inside.

yeah, due to the word 'maybe' from the above sentence, i am proven to be unsure for sure.

2011-01-23T19:31:00.004+08:00

i want to go to islands.

i want to go to kangaroo island, easter island, bora bora island, st. lucia, ..and alot more.

islands. paradises.

island hopping.

i want to go to all places.

i want to go to the caribbean.

hopefully, i'll start with blue rays kangaroo island!

- http://www.blueraylodge.com.au/

haha maybe not. some have the money to afford, i don't.

2011-01-21T23:17:00.003+08:00

irish bands. some are actually really great.

WESTLIFE (gotta LOVE)

the script!

boyzone

................ yeah. i want to travel there.

i want to see places in this world!

haha right.

but i'm just someone with not much money or talent, looks brain whatever right?

oh well.

training tomorrow, then chinese tuition, then math+chem tuition.

great... typical speedy singaporean student life huh?

2011-01-06T21:25:00.000+08:00

whether you believe if you can do it or not, you're right.

2010-12-19T23:09:00.001+08:00

having one of those days. having one of those days when everything seems to go wrong. and even if not, everything seems to just suck. when life really just seems like a bitch. like you can't do any shit with the lemons cos you've no blender, no energy, no, nothing.. and you just gotta experience the sourness and deal with the feeling of something wrinkling every bit of cell you have left to thirst for more yet all you get are more lemons thrown like a slap of disgrace to your face.

having one of those days whereby i doubt, i get so agitated, i do not want to think but i end up doing more of. is it some bullshit mood swing that happens every now and then? i'm too tired yet i have this energy, right now, and doesn't it seem to be of any worth? i ended up typing this. it's just weird. often i wonder if people actually ponder over things like these like i do. and feel all "life-y". it's not a good or bad thing. but it's just..really i don't know. no one cares, neither do i. yet everyone still does. like it's significantly insignificant. just the way everyday-life is. not easy, yet you can't say it's so hard, you could die, i mean, it's life! what? i don't get it, i can't explain it. oh well. sleep, wake up and tomorrow should be better.

i still haven't studied and i really need to. I REALLY HOPE MY KNEE GETS BETTER SOON, LIKE REALLY SOON, LIKE TOMORROW, OR LIKE NOW. FINE, LIKE TOMORROW MORNING, NAH, TONIGHT. right. i should study tomorrow. need to slim down. sigh. i miss new zealand. i miss the feeling when holidays were only starting. 2010 is really fast. fastest year ever to me. wow.

2010-12-17T13:43:00.001+08:00

Carolyn Evans-Hale September 22 at 7:53am

2 Samuel 22: 31

As for the God, his way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true.

Confidence comes easy when everything we touch turns to gold, but what about the times when life feels more like a prison cell than a palace? Don’t make the mistake of associating God’s presence with success, because unlike many things, God presence and power are not seasonal but constant.

Gen 39: 2 The Lord was with Joseph and blessed him greatly.

After being betrayed and sold by his brothers Joseph arrives in Egypt, alone and far from home. Even in the worst time of Joseph’s life God was with him, working all things together for good. Gods’ promise to Joseph was just as certain in the prison cell as it was when he rose to the highest place.

Suffering does not cast doubt upon God’s goodness and power but rather it creates an opportunity for God to demonstrate his goodness and power in our lives.

During the prison season, Joseph served others with an excellent spirit. He wasn’t a burden in the prison cell, he lifted the burden of others, he didn’t curse God he lead people to God. What is your current season producing in you? - Frustration, bitterness, anger, resentment or patience, perseverance, persistence and strength.

Joseph lived his season well and in God’s time, Joseph’s went from a prison cell into a palace.

…As far as I am concerned, God turned into good what you meant for evil. He brought me to the high position I have today so I could save the lives of many people. Gen 50:20

Keys to faith: Confidence comes when we define our lives according to God's word. His way is perfect!

2010-12-16T22:56:00.008+08:00

why do you keep bringing me down.

why do you never believe that i can ever succeed in anything.

you keep crushing my hopes of being even just an average person,

i feel that you only believe i can be below an average person in life.

you don't let me get the chance to do things i know i can.

i'm not being unreasonable, i'm not being unrealistic.

come on.

why can't i get some support from you?

after coming back from youth camp, i already faced so many shits, now this.

what is home?

1. A place where one lives; a residence.

2. The physical structure within which one lives, such as a house or apartment.

3. A dwelling place together with the family or social unit that occupies it; a household.

a. An environment offering security and happiness.

b. A valued place regarded as a refuge or place of origin.

5. The place, such as a country or town, where one was born or has lived for a long period.

6. The native habitat, as of a plant or animal.

7. The place where something is discovered, founded, developed, or promoted; a source.

8. A headquarters; a home base.

a. Baseball Home plate.

b. Games Home base.

10. An institution where people are cared for: a home for the elderly.

11. Computer Science

a. The starting position of the cursor on a text-based computer display, usually in the upper left corner of the screen.

b. A starting position within a computer application, such as the beginning of a line, file, or screen or the top of a chart or list.

-------------------------------------------

try living, learning to keep loving, laughing, letting go & holding on.

life is life. whatever will happen, you don't really know.

mind over matter. when i know i can achieve something, i know i can. I AM STRONG. & as long as i live, i'll keep growing stronger.

2010-12-01T16:33:00.001+08:00

it's horrible to stay home/indoors the whole day.

i feel sick.

gosh. this unfreshness.

i want to leave singapore to somewhere where i'd love to breathe. not need.

2010-11-29T18:44:00.006+08:00

days swiftly come and go

omg so few people are attending youth camp. that sucks!

i'm sad..nah. just kidding i'm not. (: HAHA.

anyway, i'm starting to workout twice as much as usual! WHOOPEE.

i feeel lazy but enthusiastic about things now.

gah. mixed feelings about doing things. HAHA.

okay none of that was even funny.

anywaywayway.. i'm bored. and thirsty.

so i'm going to get off my lazy ass now and get water bye.

2010-11-28T21:40:00.005+08:00

don't put your life on hold.

sorry if i come across as a really horrible person.

i try.

i didn't know people actually read my blog last time.

nowadays, i know no one does but i'm still going to post a sorry incase.

i really don't want to be a bad person.

i'm trying not to swear that word anymore.

i barely do, i'm going to try not to anymore.

sorry about my bad posts.

just life and me trying to run it.

alright. gonna try not to look back and be a better person.

i've stop putting my life on hold & i know i'll be a happier person.

i'll be someone better.

my life is going to be less boring.

not going to let stupid things ruin my youth.

please don't put your life on hold, even during exam periods.

i thought i put my life on hold for awhile,

turn around & i realise its been 2 years.

gosh. i'm not going to miss out on this part of my life.

not any part in fact.

i'm not depressed, and i never will be,

i've got Jesus.

i've got the joy.

i've got the peace.

i've got the overwhelming love God has given me.

i want the life God wants me to have.

time to move on,

got to destroy the 'hold' button because time will catch up with you,

and nothing waits.

i'll Seek God and His will.

i'll breathe, live, live life.

the rain fell and the smell of rain rose, and nature felt peaceful. and all was normal although not as it should be. and that counted for something.

2010-11-24T12:09:00.001+08:00

nothing on my side

2010-11-21T23:13:00.003+08:00

AAHHHHHHHHHHH.

NEW ZEALAND WAS SO GOOD.

it was reall nice there.

it's so big, the air is so fresh, everything is so natural and peaceful (out of the city area).

animals everywhere. haha.

the trip was just great:)

LOVED IT.

2010-11-11T13:22:00.003+08:00

"Many of life’s failures happen when people don't realize how close they were to success when they gave up."

2010-10-17T23:43:00.002+08:00

shutup.breathe.forget it.move on.LIVE.wonderifanyonegetsme.

2010-10-13T13:10:00.004+08:00

an alarm fucked up, not my problem cos i really don't care about my unreliable phone.

it's just chinese listening, not something else.

let me move on with life, cos my life sucks enough.

yeah sure whatever.

ruin my life anyway cos i'm pretty sure it was already ruined since i took my first breath.

2010-09-30T12:22:00.003+08:00

silence

would be nice now, to hear the things too soft to usually hear.

rest.

to be alone, like to literally be the only person there.

i can't believe i still blog sometimes.

like i don't have this thing for blogging but i'm actually still blogging after so many years. weird.

i need to study.

but i really just want to watch the sunrise by the beach.

i like sand.

i like the sound of waves and the breeze it gives at night.

i don't like the pollution i breathe in, not much the cold air from the aircon too.

i miss the smell of fresh air and the scene green grass with birds that are way too high to shit on you.

2010-09-26T18:24:00.001+08:00

i can think of a whole lot of things to do after the exams but i'll probably only complete half.i can also think of a plan a whole schedule to study but probably only accomplish half.

"The trees were still green, the sky still blue, which counted for something." - 'God of small things'

2010-09-20T19:16:00.001+08:00

i like being free in my room, dancing and singing because nobody's going to judge. i love music! not just saying.

2010-09-10T00:24:00.003+08:00

you know what?

people should stop saying they need this or that.

seriously, some things they don't need,

they're just overly reliant on those things.

they put their priorities and to an extent some of their life's worth on it..

and say they need things.

they don't need anything.

people don't, we don't.

we just need God's love.

people should stop worrying,

stop thinking excessively about things that are not yet to come even,

just let loose and be free.

not literally go crazy and all;

i mean like you know just stop bullshitting and live.

live life,

get out of your house.

stop sitting behind the computer or having your hands wrapped around a cellphone.

just leave these behind and breathe something natural.

yeah this is totally ironic because i'm typing it here.

but yeah. whatever, i don't do this like everyday or make this a useless routine.

no wonder martinsays.com says "twitter still sucks".. (:

i believe people will grow to realise that somethings were never as important as they thought,

and somethings were treasures they never cherished.

just live life in God's presence...

2010-08-28T01:46:00.003+08:00

I HAVE TO RUN EVERYDAY.

i don't want to further live my life with regret.

this sucks, no quick fast painless way to change this

but i will have less of this by november.

I BETTER.

2010-08-21T16:29:00.001+08:00

why are teachers so sadistic, they are the ones that ruin our childhood and youth.

2010-08-20T15:33:00.005+08:00

watched female and male IAA finals.

AWESOME. i watched mens' IAA there, got a free ticket.

wish i had one for the womens'..

oh well. anyway, it was really great watching this commited gymnasts!

inspiring.

i want to train harder in cheer to get all my tumbles right and better :)

i yearn for a twist.

2010-08-14T21:13:00.001+08:00

2010-08-05T20:56:00.005+08:00

the day after the shit.

today is the day after shit,
after the frustration and hours spent on memorising not only useless stuff but also wasted tears on things not worth. the day after i swore and got more pissed that i swore and swore. !. whether it's mood swings or not, i can only think _|_ life. but then again, with that kind of perspective, where can i go right? so okay, i'll just pretend life is fine and great and move on and be merry. just like fahrenheit451, just like a typical mildred. but i must confine myself to being the good girl i am and tolerate this shit. so fine. i'll be that girl but there's no reason why i should be happy with school anymore. _|_ school, _|_ life. and YES, _|_ FATS.
i have the utmost respect for anorexic people. i hate how i'm insignificant to everyone, i hate how obviously i'm not worth much. but most of all i hate how i believe that to be true, when of all people, i myself should help myself up i can only bring myself down. boils down to what i think of myself, _|_ FATS. life sucks now, life sucked before, life is going to suck ahead. i only await the good times i'll find when i'm away from wherever

2010-07-27T09:42:00.001+08:00

God, i'm starting to get use to the loneliness.

2010-07-18T21:52:00.003+08:00

Psalm 27 (New International Version)

Psalm 27

Of David.

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh, [a]
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.

3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

5 For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.

6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.

8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.

9 Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.

10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.

11 Teach me your way, O LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.

12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.

13 I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

2010-07-06T16:15:00.007+08:00

circles.

doing things repeatedly, over and over again, is not a good or bad thing.

but the process of it..

it leads to either development of the character

- making one stronger, developing perseverance. or causes one to give up.

it gives us experience, so in future we can make wiser decisions.

it brings out to worst in us but if we see it, it will bring out the best in us as well.

so i complain about the mundane repetitive routined circle of life,

but really, maybe it's all for the better.

everyone has to go through it.

but what one makes out of it is always different.

the outcome of doing the same things over and over, how we do things.

that makes us, that builds and shapes us to who we are now.

and if we change our perspectives, who we are changes.

not completely, maybe.

but it changes us.

so then a routined life may not mean a stagnant or unmeaningful one.

the little things in life make us who we are

and who we are now will not be the same as who we are tomorrow.

life does not rewind, or even pause,

so most of us lived a fast-paced life.

but at the end of each day,

what have we made out of the problems, troubles, surprises and chances given to us is more important than moving on itself.

2010-07-04T22:47:00.000+08:00

suddenly i feel more pathetic than ever

2010-07-01T22:10:00.001+08:00

Keys to Faith: Spend less time stressing over the circumstances and more time resting in the Grace of God.

2010-06-25T16:02:00.002+08:00

sick for about 3 days. HORRIBLE.

2010-06-12T13:18:00.004+08:00

awww, rubiks cube.

i never managed to complete a rubik's cube before.

anyway, church camp tmr!

oh and i watch the karate kid with nadene yesterday.

i love it!

2010-06-09T10:48:00.000+08:00

too much homework!

ARGH

2010-06-07T22:19:00.002+08:00

funny how most korean guys are so pretty.

when they dress as girls,

girls only get jealous and guys get horny.

how can you tell between a guy and girl then?

the prettier one would usually be the guy huh.

no offence.

they really don't look bad.

but they;re unbelievably PRETTY.

2010-06-05T14:31:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!!!!

2010-06-05T14:30:00.001+08:00

who knew prison could be fun?

2010-06-05T01:36:00.000+08:00

the kind of smile you give or have is important.

OBS

2010-05-27T21:08:00.005+08:00

just to summarise my feelings for the whole experience of obs:

it started out :(

then i decided to be positive and i was more :)

some stuff were really >:(

but some stuff were really :D

so overall obs was a really good experience.

i learnt alot, i really did.

the instructors were awesome too. so nice♥

so yeah, doubt they'll see this but i thank the instructors.

especially for their stories and jokes(even if it's lame). haha.

sunburn hurts! D;

oh well.

what an experience.

all the memories will be imprinted in my brain.

i'm emotional today. no idea why but it can't be pms.

some people are so talented or lucky or have it all,

but i know i'm blessed enough.

2010-05-16T22:27:00.001+08:00

oh how i love dancing! ♥

2010-05-16T00:29:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxDlC7YV5is&feature=player_embedded

sounds like the next justin bieber..

only, this boy sounds good on the first time and is probably cuter and more likeable..

2010-05-15T23:09:00.003+08:00

awesome sleepover and outing on friday and saturday:)

it's fun, we should do these more often.

haha. great way to bond as a class. haha.

anyway, BACK TO TRAINING TRAINING TRAINING...and i will be

stronger,

better,

faster,

STRONGER.

2010-05-10T21:20:00.001+08:00

omg i'm starting to think koreans are fine.

gah. onew is cute.

omg. no.

i'm not a korean fan.

blah. PAUL DIGIOVANNI!

2010-05-08T19:05:00.001+08:00

it's all depends on what perspective you choose to see it in.
i get to make choices and decisions for myself all the time,
i just hope to make right ones.
and maybe sometimes, bad ones to learn to make better ones.

2010-05-02T23:04:00.002+08:00

LIVERPOOL VS CHELSEA

0-2

liverpool sucks. hahaha.

i knew chelsea would probably win. haha.

like half the livpool team has injuries!

and OMG, Gerard just passed the ball to Drogba and gave Chelsea a free point.

stupid. hahaha.

and lampard had a nice shot:) haha.

okay, MAN U VS SUNDERLAND NOW.

shall continuing doing math infront of the football channel:)

2010-04-28T22:38:00.001+08:00

(Here’s the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.
I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit.

I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn’t show me dancing around a pole. It’s supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Smith

2010-04-26T18:02:00.000+08:00

And run
To them, to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not, Useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there's no one road
We should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me

2010-04-25T20:43:00.002+08:00

can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
i could really use a wish right now.

2010-04-24T14:01:00.000+08:00

i have a sudden dislike for the rich and famous.

2010-04-22T00:39:00.000+08:00

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong, we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

2010-04-22T00:35:00.001+08:00

when i have the time, i'll take a deep breath, cry and sleep.

2010-04-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

another day of school tomorrow. i hope i decide to be positive, hopeful and cheery.

2010-03-29T22:22:00.005+08:00

could break free from the wood of a coffin if i need. but nothin's hard as getting free from places i've already been. i've been waist deep in the burning meadows of my mind. in the engine. in cold december. shooting fire from the hose. now...turn off your lights cause i'm not coming home til i'm delivered for the first time. i was first born to a parade that follows in rows. down a narrow cold black river. faceless shadows. moving slow. i would move swift when the sounds of a trumpet would blow. i've been the puppet. i've been the strings. i know the vacant face it brings. now the bells of curfew...they may ring before i'm through. but soon. i'll be delivered for the first time.

-jakob dylan

2010-03-24T22:54:00.001+08:00

i got alot of learning to do.
literally.
gosh i'm going to die.
if white strands of hair pop out of my fat head then i wouldn't be surprised at all.
i've been over using my brain and i'm tired but i can't stop.
not even when i'm sleeping.
can't wait for competitions, and stuff to be over.
argh.
I'M TIRED.

shit ass,

2010-03-22T20:41:00.002+08:00

okay.
i actually tried creating some weird blog thing - tumblr.com
but yeah, didn't work out right.
so anyway, we didn't win for cheer comp.
oh well. sad, but more motivated to win for next year :)
i really hope we do.
no offence, but the standard will drop after the seniors leave.
we all really have to train so hard if we want to get champs again.
okay, have to rush to do work now.
sigh.
i really hate school.
i just don't want to study.
i don't understand anything.
i wish i was smart.
i'm still waiting for life to get better,
waiting for a day i can actually say life doesn't suck.
maybe even say life's awesome. haha. doubt it though.
i'm probably the stupidest student in my level right now.

2010-03-18T21:10:00.003+08:00

some people just got the it all.
the looks, the intelligence, the talent, the money, the life.
on the other hand, some people barely have any, some people have none.
this world is too unfair..i guess it'll always be.
justice is subjective.
anyway. life's not good.
it never will be.
it can be fine, bullshit or surreal, not good i guess.
there's a difference if you're careful enough to care.
whatever,
i'll just be living the life people with no life dream of having.
yeah. going to crash soon.
sometimes i wonder why i make such decisions.
i just don't get it.
what do you expect me to do with my life?
sit around and wait around for the time of my life?
whatever, it's failure in anyway.
feel like things are all just bullshit now,
when will life get better? like for real, real better?

2010-03-01T21:28:00.004+08:00

i was lost but now i'm found.

i'm didn't just realise i was a pessimist and sad sad person.
i always knew but never was ready to change.

finally, i'm ready to be a more positive and cheerful person that i always wished i could be.
well yeah, life sucks. but whatever, maybe because i never really lived the way God wanted me to.
i'm a person who believes i'm not special, and i don't have any self worth.
but today, i believe i have some worth to who i am.
because i'm a child of God.
and that alone is enough for me to be more confident about facing challenges.
often i put myself down i go into a forceful mode,
where i force myself to train so hard, exercise and literally i'm actually killing myself.
i get injuries but ignore them, i fail in my studies and friendships with people and shrug it off.
i just thought i didn't deserve to have friends, i didn't deserve to be happy, or to be loved.
i was just a sad person hating most parts of life.

but i realised i've a reason to be happy, to worship God each and everyday.
no matter what circumstances it may be, i have a reason to be joyful.
because my Father in heaven, God, the creator of everything good loves me.
and that's alot. it's more than enough to last for eternity.

it has been a really tough year this year,
training everyday except sunday and failing subjects, trying to find the right friends.
life can get so complicated when i get caught up with the things of this world.
and life's really for God anyway, and i just want to live for Him.
i still don't know what my talents are and what i should specifically do in life for Him,
but in the mean time i'll just try my best to live for God.
chapel in school is great.
many times i say my school sucks, but you know what?
it's fine. i like chapel :) it really does help.
and the kind of assurance and peace and love and joy i just feel from God,
just by singing and worshipping Him is just indescribable.
imagine giving Him your whole life,
there is indeed freedom in the name of Jesus.
everything i need right now is God.

i truly want to live for His glory.
there's no doubt i'm going to fail at being a optimist and at alot of other things else.
but i'm just so relieved and happy that i've realised
and experienced the joy and it's true meaning.

i'm finally a step closer to living the purpose i was created to accomplish.

i'm still waiting, not for anyone but myself

2010-02-26T22:36:00.005+08:00

life sucks so far.
back injury has worsened to as bad as last year and i can barely sit and stand without feeling the pain. everyday after training i have to be in agony of waiting for the bus and walking home with all the shit from school teachers.
ugh.
failed my math common test. perfect. but i got 52% overall for a math so i still passed.
i deserve a pat on a shoulder.
anyway, my back hurts, so i won't sit here and type so long.
but anyway, why does counsellors keep telling people that they are special?
that everyone's different?
yeah everyone is different.
but not everyone's special; i'm not.
so why cheat people into believing they have talents and gifts and that they are unique?
man they should stop giving us these stupid talks for GEL.

everyone or at least most of the population flooding the earth would want to make a difference in this world. but i realised you can't change the world before changing yourself, your life, your words, your actions, yes, YOUR THOUGHTS.
i think i'm just not ready to make a change in my self worth yet.
there's nothing wrong with not being one of those high self-esteemed, egotistical people. right?

irony

2010-02-16T01:52:00.001+08:00

i've been sleeping alot lately.
my heart and brain always seems to contradict, even when they don't, it confuses me.

2010-02-15T22:04:00.002+08:00

well, past few days for me has been something.

haha. trained hard.

study somewhat hard although i gave up on some stuff. (chinese, math..)

friday was mum's birthday.

after training i rushed home and then we went out for dinner. was super tired that day.

saturday i went to west coast park with

lan, lisa, winnie, karyin and zer.

it was scorching hot that day and everything was like burning hot.

especially the sand! got sunburn on my face.

it was a fun trip though.

then i had to leave earlier cos my parents demanded so.

and went for reunion dinner at night.

food was good and i was so full.

sunday was like church in the morning, visitation in the afternoon, relatives came over at night.

didn't exercise that day. was super full and fat. haha. but really tired too.

today i was a couch potato the whole morning/afternoon.

so our family decided to go jogging at noon. (mum said to run off all the cookies)

then we ate subway for dinner (gained back all the fats)

oh yeah. I FORGOT TO MENTION.

i went to chinatown on saturday night, um, midnight.

it sucked.

all the shopkeepers were like shouting and saying how cheap their products were.

and then people were all smudging their sweat against me while i was trying to walk.

it's like so gross.

blg was like that but i totally didn't mind, it was awesome sweat, not gross chinatown sweat.

all the noise and air pollution. mainly noise.

cos like everyone was shouting and there were all these annoying cny songs.

reach home at 2am.

was super tired. showered and fell asleep the moment i lied down.

ANWYAY, TODAY I BOUGHT LUCKY CHARMS.

FINALLY, there was stock.

so yeah, pretty happy now:)

2010-01-31T21:14:00.004+08:00

fever sucks.
i'm skipping school tomorrow.
39.9degrees.
do fairytales ever come true in real life?
like 1 in a billion people has a fairytale ending?
or does it not happen at all.
okay, have to do math before my fever becomes worse :(
rawwwrrr.
i see things alittle yellowish, can't hear well cos my ears are blocked, and my brain is feeling horrible. ugh.
i laughed and cried simultaneously twice yesterday.
i have no idea why.
i really freaked out.
praying that i won't go crazy. like real crazy. not crazy fun crazy.
gahh. i hope i'm not bipolar or something.
i feel like watching a movie.

2010-01-30T19:42:00.001+08:00

check this out, it's a cute mv.

NEW ORDER!

haha, paul likes that band.

i think, i mean why else will he wear their band shirt?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og1HAkjOuL0

2010-01-29T19:58:00.004+08:00

so many things happened at the concert
but i don't want to type it all out if not i'll really become obsessed.
not good.
can't concentrate during training or anywhere else!
still starstruck.
really wish i could have talked or taken a photo with or touched the hand of PAUL!
but yeah, none of that happened for me.
BUT I GOT HIS GUITAR PICK! <3
(i think, otherwise it's bryan's. because mine was white)
anyway, i hope that blg stops hogging so much of my mine so i can actually do my schoolwork and get on with life/reality.

BOYS LIKE GIRLS IS AWESOME.
I LOVE THEM FOREVER! <3

2010-01-23T12:49:00.002+08:00

okay.

school's been hard, academically and mentally.

failed first 2 pop quizzes, got like one mark.

but i passed the 2nd pop quiz, needed only one more mark to get full marks.

i hope i'm improving.

i almost gave up on math.

like after all the brain damage it cost me, i got really sick and tired of math.

UGH! cant wait for O levels to be over next year, argh.

teachers are teaching so fast and spamming us with schoolwork.

so tiring.

and i joined cheer again,

i mean i didn't really quit officially.

so here's the deal they offered:

join gym and cheer.

compete this year.

after april's gym competition,

i can probably quit gym.

done.

i'm so looking forward to the day i quit gym, it's going to be total freedom.

more of freedom in spirit than like time kinda thing.

like i'll feel so happy and free.

no more sadness of gym.

cheer is more fun.

gym just sucks sucks sucks.

i'm going to flunk this competition for gym and win for cheer!

my gym sucks, seriously.

just can't wait to get over with the humiliation at competition and

never have to go back to compete at gym EVER again.

okay, i'm intending to study so yeah.

decided i'll only go online once a week if i have the time.

goodbye world.

oh by the way

i love my class,

and my classmates!

yay, they're going to be with me next year as well! :D

2010-01-14T18:47:00.004+08:00

monkeys and beavers are one of the top 10 troublemakers but are super super super cute! :D

gahh. beavers. super cute. CRAZY CUTE!

anyway, done with the randomness now.

school's getting better i guess.

i mean, math is cope-able now.

english and lit is pretty hard, actually i'm just lousy.

geog is like i have no idea, have we even started much yet?

and chinese is like...chinese.

and sciences are not easy but fine, i enjoy it :)

but i still hate school.

waking up early and having my hair braided:(

but yeah, it's fun when it's recess and class time:)

i hope i don't fail anymore pop quizzes and tests.

oh, i'm going to try not to use singlish.

seriously, i need to speak better, and that's the least i need to improve on in english.

gah. who knew english is that difficult? :(

it's friday tomorrow! FINALLY.

yay, I LOVE FRIDAYS <3

2010-01-13T21:02:00.004+08:00

okay.

LIKE FINALLY DONE WITH ONLINE WORK.

GOSH. they should stop giving stupid online work,

there are always problems.

anyway, i'm also finally able to cope better.

but teacher told me i've to work alot harder still.

sigh.

i don't know if i'll make it to sec4,

and if i do, i don't know if i'll fair well.

trying to quit gym.

got some chances now,

really hoping and praying that i can,

so i can continue cheer.

gym :(

cheer :)

people, if you see this pray that i can quit gym this year and compete for cheer okay:D

thank you!

got to get back to work.

wow. never worked so hard during a non-exam period before.

actually, i never really did during non-exams period.

and i'm not really sleeping in class all the time anymore.

usually i only doze off like 1 minute and i'll slap myself wide awake:)

i really don't want to be the last few in class when it comes to grades again.

God be the solution!

2010-01-08T21:26:00.004+08:00

okay.

sec3 life is pretty miserable.

i hate gym

and school spams us with school work.

seriously.

like the first week of school and i can't cope.

i almost cried, but you know, i'm strong:)

so i actually do work everyday,

wake up early,

go to school early and ask for help.

i've never done this kind of thing before.

i'm placing my hope in God and hoping for a miracle.

i need to pass my tests.

A math pop quiz today,

one question,

i couldn't find the solution.gosh.

you have no idea how pathetic i feel.

2010-01-06T21:01:00.003+08:00

singapore football team sucks.

they're competing against Iran.

and they seriously have issues,

they keep getting penalty, yellow cards..

gosh. sucks.

and they keep pushing and grabbing people.

didn't really show sportsmanship in the first game.

got better at the end of the first match..but still.

i just can't stand people who don't show sportsmanship!

and i got pissed off and stopped watching.

okay, seriously have to do work.

i think i won't go online everyday and stuff anymore.

just too much work, and with training and future tuitions and dental,

i'm not going to have sufficient time.

I HATE SCHOOL.

NO, I HATE SCHOOL WORK.

3rd day of school

2010-01-06T16:13:00.005+08:00

i didn't turn on the computer yesterday.

i didn't exercise yesterday.

CRAZY right?

i actually gave up my time to do my schoolwork seriously yesterday.

and i'm slapping myself to keep myself awake in class.

and i'm sleeping before 1am.

i'm impressed by myself! :D

anyway, i have to braid my hair everyday because they changed the school rule again.

ugh! they say my hair is too long:(

but i don't know how to!

so i'm adding a new thing to my new year resolutions list :

learn to tie pleats for myself so i stop troubling others.

and i think i'm starting to really like my class! :)

yay :D

but i'm still finding it hard to cope with studies.

and it's like only the 3rd day.

i'm scared.

i don't want to fail so many subjects again.

i don't want to be the last for math again.

i don't want to fail or just pass.

i want a B3!

but it's so hard.

i need to study REALLY REALLY HARD.

i feel like i already am.

but i guess i still need to put in alot more effort.

2010-01-04T22:13:00.002+08:00

alright..

first day of school was, well, fine. i guess.

i wasn't very lonely.

although i'm not close to anyone from my class,

i'm sure i'll make new friends and become better friends with those i already know.

and i better. because these people are going to be my classmates next year as well.

lessons start tomorrow :(

the teachers all emphasized how tough this year is going to be

and how we are going to find it hard to score well.

i've always found it hard to score well, or in fact, even pass.

i have no idea how i'm going to fair this year,

but i really hope i don't retain.

and i really want to do well.

so yeah, going to try harder.

ugh, training tomorrow.

what really makes a tough school day better is training. PERFECT.

when will friday come?

2010-01-03T23:07:00.004+08:00

i feel so FAT :(

i shall be healthier this year, this month especially.

since i'm saving up for boys like girls, paramore, and for shopping:)

not even sure if i can go for paramore:(

oh well.

tomorrow's the first day of school.

and although this is like the 9th year of schooling (excluding kindergarten),

i still kind of get scared and freak out the night before and in the morning itself:/

anyway, i'm like not done packing my room.

gosh. my room is so annoyingly messy i don't feel like packing it:(

GAH.

but i shall try to finish packing my table tomorrow.

i need a guitar stand.

and OMG. i haven't got half the books i need for sec3. O:

i hope tomorrow goes well and i make good & REAL friends.

2010-01-02T22:02:00.003+08:00

my collar bone is not recovering and it can be really painful and annoying.

anyway, this is a really nice song! :)

new year resolutions!

2010-01-02T01:28:00.008+08:00

i shall make new year resolutions!

not going to be ambitious and make so many like i've done all my life,

because at the end i won't achieve any and feel so sad.

okay, so here it is:

1) be debt free! - save up and return the money i owed people before June comes. christmas presents totally made me go broke.

2) pass all my subjects! - study hard and even get As! :)

3) be a better friend to others and become better with friends that i already have.

4) be healthier! - improve my stamina, be able to do 10pull ups at once, grow taller, slim down.

5) have a friend receive salvation.

6) stop being controlled by my moods and having a better attitude towards things i hate(gym).

7) smile more :)

8) have more self discipline and better time management; not to be lazy like i was last year.

guess that's it.

didn't expect so many.

definitely not going to be as easy as it seems.

and, my blog's becoming my unofficial diary.

like no one really reads it but i still blog,

it just helps me alot somehow:)

it's 2010! // it's like being touched by an angel.

2010-01-01T02:58:00.007+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR:)

spent new year's eye at church.

didn't count down but we worshipped and gave testimonies.

i gave a testimony:)

took me courage..was afraid at first, cos i'm not that outspoken..

but yeah, doing it for God, showing people that God truly is faithful and loves us no matter how lousy we are.

didn't say much cos i blanked out but yeah..

wanted to thank God for mainly:

1) trainings -

joining 2 ccas this year was definitely not easy. for gym, we trained 4 times a week, and cheer as well. so i was training 8 times a week. thinking of it, yeah, it's alittle crazy. haha. but it felt normal. but then again, feeling super tired was super normal for me too. which wasn't really a good thing, because i only had energy for training and nothing else. i didn't even have energy to bother talking to people. and on days which i didn't perform well at training, it would mean the rest of the day is bad. life basically revolved around training, eating, sleeping, school. but it. somehow brought me closer to God because i prayed alot during trainings, but also made me drift away from God because i stopped reading my bible because i was too tired everyday. but in the end, God still heard my cry and pulled me through each tough training. i counted on painkillers everyday because of an injured back, God help me not to become addicted to it because i honestly started believing that if i didn't eat painkillers the excruciating pain will be there. and sometimes if i got really injured, i didn't care, training was all that mattered. but God helped me realise that although training was important, health is important too. and so is my spiritual health. i was backsliding, i skipped church one sunday just to go for an optional training. stupid right. but somehow, the more i trained, the more i got sucked into it. i couldn't not train or i'd feel guilty. but at the end, God helped me through everything, i trained hard, endured the pain, and did God proud in the competition. and He has proven to me that He is faithful and never fails even when i've failed Him countless number of times. God truly helped me so so so much during the trainings, if not for the tough trainings, i would not have seen God's provision in my life:)

2) studies -

due to trainings, i was always tired. seriously, all the time. as long as there was time i'd sleep or exercise, and not study instead, another stupid thing i did. so in school i just couldn't concentrate and focus. it was so difficult. i tried really hard to stay awake during lesson but i just couldn't. it was too difficult. after about 10mins i'd fall asleep. in the end i'd not understand anything, not remember what the homework even was, and even if i remembered, i didn't understand how to do the assignments. it was just horrible and stressful. i actually gave up for awhile, i decided to focus on gym and cheer. so the first time i failed most of my subjects, it was a big disappointment and i cried alot. i felt lonely, underachieved, and training was the only way to get my mind of things. anyway, i didn't put much time into my studies. but then as usual, giving up isn't my thing. so i picked myself up and prayed and desperately asked God for help again. this time i studied hard but still didn't do well because my foundation just wasn't there, wasn't good enough. so i was sort of discouraged. but still didn't give up, i prayed and just did what i could for the EOYs. before the results were out, i was already deciding which neighbourhood school i'll transfer to if i couldn't make it to sec3. cos i decided i rather transfer to a school with a lower standard than to retain. i even checked out websites of school and stuff! but i got 61% overall. i passed! i made it to sec3, THANKS GOD! and i failed only 1 or 2 subjects. for math and geog i got 51%! thank God. really, because i usually dont pass math and i did really badly for my geog paper. so it was really a miracle:) once again, God proved to be faithful:)

3) opportunities to serve Him -

this i really thank God for. i've never been out for a mission trip before. so i decided that since at the start of 2009 i said i wanted to go for a mission trip sometime in that year, i decided to go for cheras. preparing for the Cheras trip certainly wasn't easy, WHO KNEW IT WOULD BE THAT HARD TO TEACH DANCE? as if choreographing 2 dances wasn't hard enough, teaching was so uch more stressful and tiring! aunty dot definitely gave me tremendous pressure because she appointed me leader and gave put the heavy responsibility of all the dances on my shoulder. so thank God, exams were over:) but there were still trainings:( but i managed to come up with a dance together with alicia and claire, and alittle help here and there from elisa, dara, joie. then finally when we got it, AUNTY DOT REJECTED THE DANCE. i almost cried. so we got a new song and choreographed a whole new dance. this time, it was accepted! :D then 3 days before we were going, aunty dot asked me and claire to teach promises dance to the others for another dance. seriously, this time i cried, it was really pressurising. and being a leader? I'M JUST HORRIBLE AT BEING ONE. and i was given that job! so really, i tried not to cry but i just couldn't take it. so anyway, in the end, people became more understanding and more willing to dance. which helped alot. and the dances turned out right. and children at cheras liked it! :D that was the best, the joy in serving the Lord is awesome. i also want to thank God for the privilege to be in dance ministry and dance for Him as a form of worship:)

4) friends & family -

during the tough times, i often ask God for friends and that my family would be more understanding and supportive. God has given me that. i got many encouragement from my friends during trainings, exams and during the preparation of the cheras dances:) and my parents allowed me to spend so much time out of home, training, dancing, and even to go out and just have fun. although i OBVIOUSLY still don't have the choice of going out as and when i like and have curfew and they are protective and stuff. i thank God for parents that are caring and willing to pay for my expensive crazily overpriced gym and school fees:) oh, and also thank God for friends who care and love me:) i've been praying to become a better friend to others and i hope i will be.

5) becoming stronger! -

i thank God for all the challenges i faced this year. without all these problems and difficulties, i wouldn't have experienced God's love this much and wouldn't have become so so so much stronger emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually. really thank God for all He has done not just in 2009, but in my whole life:)

God is a faithful, loving, awesome, great, powerful, almighty, real God! :)

i hope to continue to know and experience God more in year 2010, it'll will be a good year despite all the trainings and studies. at least after quitting 1 cca, i'll have more time to focus on my studies. great:)

2009-12-29T22:13:00.002+08:00

me and joie are spazzing over boys like girls!

so excited!

oh, and i really want to thank God for helping me to be able to pack my shelf today

IT WAS CRAZY.

i wanted to pack my room,

but after i packed my shelf it was night and i was tired.

my room's seriously messy.

at first it was just messy,

but it became like insanely messy.

my table is a dump.

next thing i'm packing is my other shelf, and then table.

have to pray.

seriously don't know how i'm going to clear the mess:/

okay, shall continue going crazy over boys like girls! <3

2009-12-29T00:31:00.002+08:00

had youth party for belated christmas/end year today.

some great testimonies were shared.

and i realised that there are actually people who went through what i went through too.

trained everyday,

neglected friends and family,

stopped going out,

screwed up studies,

and everything screwed up.

but God accepts me no matter how screwed up i am, and loves me.

and God changed my life and taught me better prioritizing skills:)

so quit cheer and am focusing more on studies.

not going to let anything distract me.

i'm going all out and living for God :)

2009-12-28T00:31:00.004+08:00

went for singapore idol finals today.

pretty cool.

haha. sazairi isn't that bad..but his fans are damn annoying.

some guy got happy and decided to step on my hair-.-

and ben is all whiny over sezairi winning.

gosh. so annoying!

anyway, today was fine i guess.

not super happy or sad:/

and Charice's voice is like MAD.

IS LIKE DAMN GOOD.

she sang/sung(can't be bothered to think which one is right right now) at the indoor stadium just now.

crazy strong awesome voice.

oh, and hayley's birthday is over!

but i shall still wish her HAPPY BIRTHDAY:D

although i doubt she'll see this:(

ftw?

2009-12-27T01:20:00.003+08:00

happy boxing day!

today honestly was damn boring during the day.

woke up late, then i didn't really do anything.

then at night i went to central for dinner with mum and ben, and mum's 2 friends(they are like aged 20+ so it wasn't that awkward, one of them is totally playful and funny:) )

then we walked around clarke quay.

it's like my first time in like years since i've been there?

or maybe it's like my second time there or something.

i dont even remember.

but JUST TO MAKE THINGS CLEAR,

i'm a totally innocent girl, not going there for pubs/clubs :D

and i was with my mum-.-

so yeah, we roamed.

and me and my brother almost took the reverse bungee.

but it cost 45bucks and we just ate so we figured, not today.

but i will someday! :)

then we took bus home and i saw an orange lamborghini:D

okay. have nothing much to type!

i'm still coughing so much.

gahhh. ):

church tomorrow!

actually, church today in like 8 hours time!

yay:)

2009-12-25T22:51:00.004+08:00

it's christmas!

although i didn't really feel much of a christmas season feeling this year,

i think today was pretty fine.

i mean, nothing really bad happened or what, so yeah :)

anyway, merry christmas to everyone:D

so today morning i woke up at 730am for a morning jog.

then i got ready and went to church with my family for the musical.

then i gave and got presents :)

then we ate lunch with sean!

after that we hung around at level 6 with the usual gang.

then andrew and julian came over.

the 3 of them including my brother played worms,

while i made a SUCCESSFUL ATTEMPT of making pasta:)

FOR OUR AWESOME DINNER.

first time and it totally went right! :D

so happy:)

then we played CSI board game which i totally flunked and munchkin.

then the both of them headed home.

that's basically how i spent my day.

not that bad huh?

at least i wasn't bored to death and stuff:D

i really thank God for all that He has done for me,

and i want to live my life for Him.

wow. never knew.

2009-12-23T23:36:00.006+08:00

taking a break from writing all the christmas cards.

omg. it's so hard.

for some people i just don't know what to write.

people are going to be like

"an A4 size paper and i only wrote a few lines, pathetic. "

haha. nah. they wont be so evil right, i hope.

cos i actually really thought of each person as i wrote each letter.

but i just really don't know what to write for some:(

but to those i wrote/i'm going to write a letter to,

i hope they know that they definitely mean something to me♡